Thursday

this is a lazy post

Things are going fairly well in that I am leaving the house and got myself a part time job. My room is still a mess. I haven't actually done any school work and I berate myself for being such a lazy person.
 Ah yes laziness.

 If I weren't so lazy I would exercise.

I believe the biggest reason why I got depressed was because I stopped running in my last year of high school. Up until that point I was on the cross country and track and field team. Mind you I wasn't very good runner, but I did it. I lacked the discipline to actually train. And now I am still lacking the discipline to run or do any sport of sort.

 I make up excuses. Right now the excuse is "It's too cold outside." Fair enough, I could however go to a gym. Then the excuse is "I'm self-concious and I have no idea how to weight lift."

 I am not terribly self conscious of my body. I've accepted it's simply the way I am. However I am terribly self conscious of my legs. I find them disproportional to the rest of my body making me look chunkier than I am. And no matter how much I exercised, they never became any leaner. If I am not too careful, I fall into the trap of cankles.

 I'm sick of the cold weather and wish for warmer weather. Warmer weather meaning dresses. Oh wait, no I don't like dresses because that means exposing my legs.

Right.

 But this cold in mid March makes me eat so horribly. I have been living off of junk food and if I weren't so lazy I would actually go try to learn how to feed myself.

And if I weren't so lazy I would go learn how to do something.....like coding or whatnot. I'm falling into a pattern of going on tumblr and it's not giving me any joy actually. It's just something to do. Idling by.

Blah
Edita Vilkeviciute by Lachlan Bailey for Vogue Paris April 2012

31 comments:

Unknown said...

poor girl, i wish she had not fallen to such sad demise.

Unknown said...

Hey Elisa, this is like, the third time I'm trying to talk to you, but screw technology, right?
Basically to sum up my thoughts, you are a beautiful soul, and I know you still exist, like all "dead" people do. Um, yeah I feel uneasy right now, so uh, have fun out there, peace!

Unknown said...

Olumunun ardinda cinayet oldugunu dusunuyorum. Sen?

Anonymous said...

Your legs look great to me -
http://nouvelle-nouveau.tumblr.com/post/34243220129/look-kids-im-leaving-the-house-and-put-some

Unknown said...

Never dead but not present. My sincere condolences to yourself and your family. I hope this statement does not offend

Karen P. said...

Bless your beautiful heart and everlasting bright soul.

AWOL said...

You sound like me, when I was your age. I love writing, too. It keeps us alive doesn’t it? It’s so crazy we can spend years obsessing over and hating a body part, when we are so intelligent, curious, loving, and lovable. Why do we torture ourselves in this way? Why do we look for reassurance from others? I know you were learning, and you were seeing the light. It sounds to me, despite your pain, you were hopeful... an optimist somewhere deep inside. I don’t believe you took your own life. I wish we all knew the truth. I have a theory. It’s as crazy as your death. I wish i knew more about you.

Anonymous said...



http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_9KE1aHndzBw/TPipVMHgATI/AAAAAAAAAB4/a_uhDkqCQmg/s1600/IMG_8129.jpg

http://etherfields.blogspot.com/2010/12/travel.html

Unknown said...

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Anonymous said...

Oh u r such a bloated lazy bum.

Anonymous said...

https://cassiopaea.org/forum/threads/session-7-november-2015.40010/

(Galatea) Ya know the story about Elisa Lam, the girl in the elevator who was hiding from something. Then she went out to talk to it, and she started waving her hands weirdly. So, I wanted to ask what did she see or what was she running from?

[ Elisa Lam Elevator footage https://youtu.be/3TjVBpyTeZM ]

A: Golem!

Q: (Galatea) It looked like Gollum?

(L) It's a Jewish monster.

(Pierre) Made from mud.

(Galatea) It was actually a mud monster?

A: Close.

Q: (Galatea) Must freak you out to see that!

(Perceval) Did she herself climb into the water tank?

A: No

Q: (Perceval) How did she get into that water tank?

A: Spacetime distortion.

Q: (Atreides) But a golem is an instrument of revenge created by someone to kill or protect somebody else. So, if it's a golem, who sent it and why was it targeting a Canadian Chinese girl in Los Angeles?

A: Target practice. There is a reason that Galatea thought of it at this moment.

Q: (L) So, we're talking about some kind of thing that blows open realm curtains?

A: Yes

Q: (L) And things come through?

A: Yes

Q: (Atreides) So nobody sent the golem after her?

A: Not specifically.

Q: (L) So, it's just kinda like mothman or something.

(Approaching Infinity) A golem is this Jewish myth kind of thing, and they said target practice...

(L) Don't get stuck on the Jewish myth thing.

(Approaching Infinity) Yeah, but we've talked about energy weapons, and target practice. And Mossad...

(L) Golem, Kabbalists...

(Chu) And two girls missing due to spacetime distortion...

(Andromeda) And funny enough, me and Perceval just watched an episode of the X-Files about a golem a few nights ago.

(L) Oh my god!

(Andromeda) And last night it was about an airplane crash due to alien interference!

(L) Okay, creeped out now... Well, we're gonna...

(Galatea) Wait, when Elisa Lam was moving her hands in this really bizarre way in the elevator video, why was she moving her hands like that?

A: Trying to persuade the creature to leave her alone.

Q: (Perceval) Is something that only she could see?

A: Yes

Q: (Perceval) So, it kind of like created some kind of alternate reality around her, or she was transported into a parallel...

A: Partly.

Q: (Galatea) It was attuned to her specifically.

(Perceval) A bleedthrough, yeah.

(Atreides) So, what did the golem that's not a golem want from her?

A: Energy.

Q: (Galatea) Does that golem live in that specific place, or was that a one-time thing?

A: The location has useful energy patterns for such purposes.

[ Information on the hotel Elisa Lam stayed at: _http://www.news.com.au/travel/travel-updates/before-the-ghost-photo-the-disturbing-gruesome-past-of-the-cecil-hotel/story-fnizu68q-1226813853089 ]

Q: (L) So basically, there are just people who have these things and who like sit in their little control booths or something, and... I mean like all these missing people in this Missing 411 book... Somebody is just frickin' playing with the human race!

A: Yes

Isabella Freddie said...

I'm here to give my testimony how I was cured from HIV, I contacted my HIV via blade. A friend of my use blade to peel of her finger nails and drop it where she use it, so after she has left i did know what came unto me i looked at my nails, my nails were very long and I took the blade which she just used on her own nails to cut of my finger nails, as i was maintaining my names, i mistakenly injured myself. I did even bother about it, so when I got to the hospital the next week when i was ill the doctor told me that I am HIV positive, i wondered where did i got it from so i remembered how I use my friend blade to cut off my hand so i feel so sad in my heart to the extent that i don’t even know what to do, so one day i was passing through the internet i met a testimony of a lady that all talk about how she was cured by a doctor called DR Imoloa so i quickly emailed the doctor and he also replied to me and told me the requirements which i will provide and I do according to his command, he prepare a herbal medicine for me which I took. He message me the following week that i should go for a test which i did to my own surprise i found that i was HIV negative. He also have cured for all kinds of incurable diseases like: Huntington's disease, back acne, chronic kidney failure, Addison's disease, Chronic Disease, Crohn's Disease, Cystic Fibrosis, Fibromyalgia, Inflammatory Bowel Disease, Fungal Nail Disease, Paralysis, Celia Disease , Lymphoma, Major Depression, Malignant Melanoma, Mania, Melorheostosis, Meniere's Disease, Mucopolysaccharidosis, Multiple Sclerosis, Muscle Dystrophy, Rheumatoid Arthritis, Alzheimer Disease and so many. Thanks to him once more the great doctor that cured me dr. Imoloa so you can also email him via drimolaherbalmademedicine@gmail.com or whatsapp him on +2347081986098. / website- http/www.drimolaherbalmademedicine.wordpress.com. God Bless you Sir.

Anonymous said...

What is this, or rather, where is that from?

Unknown said...

Los muertos no andan vagando. Ni su espíritu volando. Cuando el alma sale del cuerpo vuelve al descanso hasta el día en que Jesucristo vuelva y despierten todos los muertos para el juicio. Esto nadie lo dice porque lo consideran fábulas, pero es la verdad escrita en la palabra de Dios.

BB said...

Cierto

BB said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
BB said...

She's been dead since Feb 2013. Her body was recovered from a water tank atop the Cecil Hotel in Downtown Los Angeles. Her name was Lisa Lam 😔

BB said...

Right. I think she wanted very skinny legs

Kathi said...

Ich mag auch keine Kleider

Kathi said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Kathi said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Jolene gilman said...


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peace maker said...

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Unknown said...

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Tanja said...

Ok dann erstmal danke für den Artikel.War viel Neues dabei was mir gar nicht so wirklich bewusst war.Auch mit der Mexiko Rundreise sehr interessant.Liebe Grüße Tanja

Unknown said...

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